im still here. I’m struggling but I’m still here.
- What are the sober blogs for? The eloquent writer or to help those struggling with a drinking problem? I’m not an eloquent writer, but I feel I need help because I’m struggling with a drinking problem. I hope I can get to the point in my life where I can help someone else.
I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about my youngest son who is in college. I’ve been using alcohol to numb my feelings. I’m trying to tell myself that what he is going through is his life, not mine. His choices not mine. And since he really doesn’t want to talk with me about it unless there is a catastrophe, I have to let go and take care of myself. And he has to learn to do the same.
I’ve made it through 100 days of being sober twice, only to decide to try moderation and end up drinking again every day. Back to hiding alcohol in order to conceal the amount I was drinking. Back to spending many evenings watching t.v. and drinking. Back to having drink after drink every evening. Back to thinking about it every day.
After spending yesterday alcohol free, I felt so much better when waking up this morning! Yesterday and today I accomplished more at work and at home, keeping myself busy with other activities instead of sitting down to drink. I have to admit that if my husband would have brought home a bottle of wine yesterday I probably would have let him pour me a glass. But he didn’t and I made the decision that I could do without instead of running to the store myself. I started reading sober blogs again. The one day alcohol free encouraged me to do the same today.
It is time to admit to myself that moderation does not work for me.
I am a woman with so much to be thankful for. I’m married to a great guy and have wonderful grown children. I teach children with special needs. I love nature, camping, hiking, biking, swimming. I have struggled with a drinking problem which gets in the way of my awesome life. I am seeking support and encouragement.